Visited my parents yesterday with Axel. Not one broken thing. Amazing. A happy time. Things have changed a lot.
Years ago my parents held to their rules, would not hide things or change things... the boy must learn.
After many pieces of porcelain were deposited into the Grandfather clock resulting in a pleasing smashing sound, my father hid the remaining ones. Axel had a fetish for the clock, made by my grandfather, and would rip the pendulum out and walk around with it. It cost £500 to fix. My mother tried all sorts of things to attractively protect it and found this simple red ribbon did the trick.
Another trial was that Axel had a passion for my parents' choice of muesli. My mother refused him the muesli saying it would spoil his appetite. The meltdowns were tragic.
Yesterday, Axel sat next to my mother, who'd as usual cooked a splendid meal. Axel held the massive muesli jar to his mouth and happily tipped all of it into his mouth and as far as the eye could see. Not an eyelash of stress was on my mother's face. Happy, eating together, in our own ways.
Although Axel's interest in the clock has long since waned my mother keeps the ribbon on. She wants her grandson to come.
I went to visit Axel, age 10, in the care home, to take him swimming with the aid of two carers. I think we looked casual as we sat on the floor of the pool reception area for quite a while adjusting to the environment. Axel had brought his tickle spots with him and I enjoyed tickling him and soothing him to where we were. I think he was disappointed as his father usually comes at the weekend. He's away on holiday.
We change in the corridor as the changing room is abhorrent before swimming. I am glad I am not shy. With the carers support we got in in under an hour. Once in, we have a fabulous time. I throw Axel in, despite looking drowned he comes back for more. I tumble turn him forward and back. Today, amazing, he presses my neck. He wants me to tumble turn. I insist he vocalises for the 'three' of 'one, two, three' and I turn. He is delighted. I consumed a lot of pool water delighting my son. He has never reciprocated in this way before. I then got him under water and for the last half hour he swam as a dolphin only coming up for air. Wonderful. Without his sister we could really find OUR way. He loves the jacuzzi, eating the bubble scum. We sit in there. Silent. Together.
It then took three of us to get him out! A woman in the pool keenly helped push him out. LOVE HER. If only there were more cool, helpful players out there. Come on people. I know it looks weird but really, help and be happy.
Back at the home he didn't want to leave my car. They provided a wonderful lunch of haloumi, avocado etc... he's so posh. We then watched Dumbo. His choice. Never have I been so keenly aware of how this is a film about difference. His big ears are a disability that convert to an asset. I queued him in with pictures that I would be leaving. At the moment where Dumbo's mother is cuddling Dumbo from her jail, singing 'Baby of mine" he bit me with a passion. He cares that I'm leaving and I am aghast that it needs to be like this. What a mess.
I love my Dumbo and yearn to find an asset.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CORf1liT9cE
