SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? OR 'MIND THE GAP'... A RAMBLE... - 12 04 13

I am a talker. 

I use talking like dolphins use sonar, to measure the distance between me and another physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, playfully. I use language to describe my 'landscape', my 'furniture', of Life and the inferences I make of it. I ask questions to understand another's. With Axel, with no language, I am out of water. It's not just the lack of literal language but the theatre that goes with talking such as gesture, posture, that subtle glance. With Axel I can not imagine his 'landscape', his 'furniture' but see the shadows cast from it, the vapour trails. When Axel takes only my left arm and guides it to only the left hot tap lever and manoeuvres it until the hot water is gushing and then carefully and slowly presses my fingers to the tap, I can not imagine the motive only experience the result. I am trying to understand another language uncertain there is one with any formula.

I am reminded of a young man I once met who spoke avidly of football to me. I confessed I had little time for the game. He fell quiet and shared that he hated football but had learnt all he had so he could include himself and have some friends.

How awake are we to why we do what we do? In this I suspect Axel is very clear. I can not imagine he presses my fingers to the taps for anyone else's pleasure or reason but his.

I do watch with wonder.

And I reminded of a workshop I did where we danced our life histories for one another by way of introducing ourselves. Scary as I found it, it was one of the most extraordinary and moving things I have experienced. We guessed each other's lives well, we come from a similar physical language plain.

I do wonder what Axel is 'saying', so much of what he does I can not read.

He is wonderful.

Am I making sense!