SIBLINGS - 13 11 12

This is Anusha. She is 11. She was nearly two when Little A turned up. Having had a pretty blissful life, she then witnessed diagnosis, therapies, the house overrun with tutors. I remember her asking, 'Mummy, can I have a therapy?'. Siblings like Anusha are like an only child with little of the attention. Axel does not play anything. Worse still, they witness tons of anxiety and attention being pestered on the ungrateful sibling. The stress and the worry and the breakdown of her parents relationship was as a steam train through our lives. It wasn't just the radio that was turned off. She was peaceful at her father's leaving, other feelings came later. During this time she also experienced the death of her cousin, aged three, of leukaemia. She was 4. This is still very live in her memory.

When Axel is around he is a sinkhole for attention. The electric noise and activity is like having a television on in a pub... I have to face the other way. Only now that Axel goes into respite some nights have Anusha and I started to reclaim our space. The first night he went into care we went swimming, had a pizza, watched a film with a fire and popcorn, made a bean-bag frog... I was sewing the eyes on at midnight. I took Anusha on our first holiday in seven years to Atsitsa in Greece. I recognised that we didn't really know how to be ... we are learning to slow down and be together.

Anusha is a wonderful child and a joy to live with. Most mornings she has smiling chatter. One morning I'd been awake since 2 am with Axel and she appeared at 8 all warm and tousled hair. By then I'd laundered, done tickling, emptied dishwasher, watched films, parts of, made pancake carnage and so on. She saw me covered in flour and washing up and gave me a wonderful hug. To her I said, 'Anusha, how am I going to make sense of this?' and she replied, 'I don't know Mummy but with you, I know it'll be fun'.